Guide to the Female Orgasm Part II

Explore your nether regions: For those of you who
have already had the pleasure of exploring yourself, read along since you still
might not know all of the specifics (as I didn’t until I wrote this).
Explore your area.
Take off your pants, spread your legs, and enjoy the ride. First, use two fingers and spread apart your inner and outer labia or “lips” as they are often called. The inner labia meet
together at the clit. You can feel the clit with your forefinger if you trace
your fingers up along the inner labia. Look at the area where your clitoris
resides. It is covered by a hood which protects all of the nerves that are on
your clit. Under the hood, lies your clitoris glands.
When you are aroused, your hood will retract and you will be able
to see your clit even better. You will also start to get wet. Use your own
fluids to continue to play with your clit. Touching yourself will not feel good
if it is without lubrication of some sort. Try putting one or two fingers into
your vagina and make a “come hither” motion with your fingers to play with your
g-spot.Caress your breasts, pinch your nipples. See if this arouses you. Some
women’s breasts are very sensitive, others are not. You can decide what works
best for you.  If you are comfortable with it, lay naked, spread your legs
and use a mirror to really get a good look at your area down there. Get the
view that the male(s) in your life get. Learn about and appreciate your body. You have to know what you like in order to tell someone else what to do!

It’s all a mental thing: Close your eyes and fantasize about something
sexy. Allow your mind to wander and don’t judge yourself about what it is you
may be thinking about. People have all different kinds of fantasies that some
might consider weird or vulgar or offensive, but chances are they have had the
same types of fantasies at some point or another themselves.
Just because you think about women, threesomes, or being spanked doesn’t mean you
necessarily want that in your own sexual life. This is why they are called fantasies. Don’t
feel weird or guilty for masturbating either. Everyone does it and if they
don’t, they are missing out. Any negative thoughts, or any thoughts that do not
have to do with sex for that matter, will affect your ability to get off. Take
it from someone who is neurotic and over-analytical. Taking these qualities
in the bedroom is just about the best way to avert an orgasm. Don’t think
about getting off. Don’t try to get off. Just think sexy. Your only goal at this point is to learn more about your body.
Get to Business: Okay, so now that you have explored your whole
body and your mind set is all things sexual, you can get to touching your clit.
Use the tips of your fingers to gently rub in a circular or up and down motion
on the hood of your clit. As you get more aroused, you may be able to touch the
actual clit, but it is good to get started by just caressing the general area. Continue to think sexy and learn about your body.

You may not experience an orgasm the very first or first few times you try these exercises so don't worry about it if it doesn’t happen right away. Try to enjoy your body and the pleasure it gives you. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot, you are probably trying too hard. Studies say it takes women up to twenty minutes on average to achieve an orgasm, so don’t rush it! 

Women and men are completely different in many aspects and how they get off is just another one of them. Women are able to do many creative things to get themselves off when masturbating. We have a plethora of clit stimulators, dildos, vibrators, gels, lubrications, vegetables, bottles, pillows (after my research, I realized this list could go on and on) at our fingertips (no pun intended) to assist us in getting off. Men have some interesting options (simulated vaginas and mouths), but usually opt for their hand and porn or their mental catalogue of fantasies to reach orgasm. 
Most women who I have spoken to want to find a time and a place where there is little chance they will be bothered, found, or interrupted. Women like to relax, get in the right mental frame of mind, and take their time getting off. It is our special alone time and we don’t want to rush it.
Enjoy your body. The more you know the more you can teach someone else!

You Deserve One of These--Orgasm 101

(This post is dedicated to my fearless little sister who was never afraid to ask questions and to all women who want to learn how to achieve an orgasm) 

Part 1: If you haven’t had an orgasm yet, read below. While there are many articles, books, and graphic pictures on how to do this, I am taking the time to simply express my own personal experience. Hopefully, this will help. If not, keep trying or comment and tell me what else you would like to know!

What lead up to the big O--

I was 18 and a freshman in college. I lived with my best friend in a small room that was right across the hall from the only other girl on the floor who ended up being normal, by our standards, fun, and a total sex fiend. She was 18 just like us, but she was very in touch with her sexual needs and wants. She was leagues ahead of me and my roommate. She had been watching porn, using vibrators, having sex with various partners who were not necessarily her boyfriends, and openly talking about it far longer than we had been. She was the poster child for women who want to be sexually free and sexually experienced. She was Samantha before Samantha even existed.

I loved to talk about sex too (who doesn’t at that age) and my amatuer escapades (especially compared to Krissy). I was always of the mindset that sex was a great topic in which to use to open people up, make them laugh, and figure out whether a person was going to be friends with me or be offended by me.

Krissy was the same way. One day in the middle of September while it was still at least 85 degrees out and close to 90 in our rooms that had no air conditioners, we were discussing various sexual positions and I asked her about having an orgasm. I was a virgin to orgasms and she was horrified to find out this factoid about myself. “At age 18, you still haven’t had an orgasm? Have you ever touched yourself, played with yourself, watched porn?” “Didn’t you have boyfriends? You never figured it out with them?”  She asked me question after question hurriedly and with a flabbergasted expression on her face. Her concerned response expressed to me that this was something I was really going to have to get on top of. Put it on my list of things to accomplish. She gave me the best advice I think anyone has ever given me on how to accomplish the first orgasm of your life: Find a shower with a removable shower head and use it.  

Why it took so long--

Now, let me explain why it took so long for me to get to this point and why my lovely boyfriends thus far had not accomplished the task either. First, I was on an anti-depressant called Paxil.  (The story about that will have to wait for another day, it is definitely not as interesting as this one). Paxil is just about the worst drug you can be on when it comes to sex drive and your libido. When I requested to get off Paxil, my doctor informed me that the reason I never wanted to have sex was because Paxil kills your libido. It is so successful at doing this, that they use this drug in prison to control sex offenders. So, since I didn’t really care about having sex, I didn’t really care about having an orgasm and therefore, I never practiced on myself. I didn’t masturbate for the first time until I was 18. I remember playing around once, but I only fingered myself and realized that it wasn’t going to do the trick and gave up on it. I wasn’t really worried about it until Krista’s reaction.

And, the reason my boyfriends were never able to master the task was because I never knew what to tell them. I didn’t know my own body so how were they suppose to figure it out? The moral of that story is that you must know your own body before you can actually expect someone else to be able to pleasure you. Men are not mind readers, we all know that, so you have to help them along.

Read on to part 2. Please COMMENT and let me know what you think!