My Reality Realized While Watching Reality T.V.

My current reality was revealed to me tonight while I was watching "Psychic Kids." I was sitting on my couch with my roommate and since we had both suffered from a long day of dealing with annoying people all asking us to do something for them, we pigged out on pizza and wine and decided to vege out in front of the t.v. I love reality t.v. and my heart was set on some mindless Bravo Housewives shows, but I know my roommate hates them, so I settled for "Psychic Kids."

 (Chris Coffey from the show)

The episode was called "Demon House" and it recounted how this 13 year old girl who lived with her single mother in Fort Lauderdale fled their house one night because of a demonic presence and haven't gone back since. They now live in another house by the water and have a dock, and just let the other house sit. They are too afraid to go back in and retrieve their belongings, rent the house, or put it up for sale. And even while they were visiting the house in the dark and feeling like they were being "clawed" on the head while doors were opening and birds were randomly flying around (quite a creepy scene), I couldn't take my mind off the fact that this daughter and single mother had the money to own two houses in FL, both which looked really nice, and one was on the water!

The whole point of sitting down and watching t.v. is for me to shut my brain off and take my mind off of my endless money worries for an hour, but instead, this stupid show was making me more agitated!

So, I realized in that moment that I am officially hyper-focused on being broke and that I am seriously unbalanced if I can't even depend a superb show like "Psychic Kids" to take my mind off my bills..

Link to the video-- http://youtu.be/k-5ghmzJ-VI

It Really is All About the Money

Grad Students, Listen up:

So, you have finally come to the end of the education train. You suffered all those days through high school and college, and even graduate school. You made it out alive and in one piece. You can frame your diploma and put it up on the wall. You are free. Aren’t you lucky? Or, are you? 

Those two years of grad school were the most difficult years of my life academically. There were three constants in my life for the whole 2 years—worry, writing, and research. My life consisted of going to class, tutoring students, making no money, taking out more loans, eating food that only took seconds to prepare, writing papers, and an endless amount of reading dusty books in the library in order to complete yet another 20 page research paper. It went on and on like this until that glorious day in May when I graduated. I never thought it would come and then it did and I felt just like you. I was proud, relieved, and exhausted, but most of all, I was hopeful for the future. 

I could finally set my sights on all of those things I wanted to do, but couldn’t during grad school. I could go get some drinks with friends or I could eat dinner at a beach front restaurant and watch the sun set. I could go see a movie with my friends and not feel guilty about wasting time. My time was my own. I was free! But, yet I wasn’t. I didn’t have any money. I didn’t have a job. I didn’t have a purpose. Now the feeling of panic that gnawed at me during grad school was back, but this time it was replaced with terrifying questions about how I was actually going to survive. How was I going to eat, rent a place, gill up my gas tank, and most of all pay back all those loans that helped me do all this stuff just a few weeks ago when I was in the sweet embrace of grad school. How lucky I was then. 

Do you see where I am going with all this?

My point is-- enjoy your time in school. Once you are finished, there are no more excuses. You have to find a job, pay your bills, and in most cases, get up every morning at 7 AM to do it. If you are lucky, you will actually manage to pay all of your bills at the end of the month, but most likely, you will scrounge for awhile to make the minimum payments on your credit card bills, pay rent, and keep the electricity, water, and cable on. You may work 2 or 3 jobs just to ensure that the bare minimum is paid for in your life. It really is all about money when you’re a 20-something.

Day #7 My Mentor told me to do this difficult exercise...

2/6 Sunday-- I did the super bowl thing for an hour and then got back to work.

And, here I am. I replied to all of my business and personal e-mails. The hardest e-mail of the evening was the one I had been putting off for about a week to our mentor. I expressed to him my doubts and fears about the business and he asked me to sit down and really think about what I want, where I want to be, and what I want to be doing when I am 50. He said not to worry about if I thought my wants were possible or not, just to write them down anyway…

I responded with the following:

Ideally, I would live in a house with my husband in a mid-large town (not small town) where it is warm most the year. My house would have a room with built-in bookshelves and I would have an office space to myself. I would have a pool, but I would be able to afford to hire people to take care of it. I would do the domestic duties along with my husband, so I wouldn’t hire anyone to clean, cook, etc. My house is not enormous, but I have a walk in closet and a big tub. My house would include an in-laws quarters that would be fully functional so my parents could be there without even coming into my house.

My husband and I would be able to take vacations at least 4-6 weeks out of the year and it would not be a struggle for us to go to dinner 1-2 a week. We would have the disposable income to go on weekend getaways if we want maybe 1 every 2 months. We would have 3-4 kids and we have the money to let them each do 1-2 sports/activities each year and we are also able to afford me staying home with them and having some babysitting help at least 15 hours a week. We can pay our bills and credit cards in full every month without having to worry about it. We still have money left over to save and to spend on things we want to do.

Ideally, I would have passive income from this company or something else, so I had the opportunity to get involved in other projects that I am really interested in. I want to be a writer and a teacher and a businessperson. I want to be a mom who can stay home and work around the kids’ schedules instead of being bound to a 9-5 job. I want to buy investment properties and hope to have a few by the time I am 50.

I hope this doesn’t sound too crazy. I am willing to work really hard and live meagerly as I have been doing to get all of this. I don’t expect it to be easy and I don’t expect anything to just be given to me.

This is probably way too much detail, but I am a writer, so I get carried away! Now you know more than you ever wanted to know about me.

I look forward to hearing your response.

AA

Day #6 Credit Cards are the Bane of my Existence

$400.00 down for my 90,000 mile check up on a car I don’t really want, but have to keep for now. $276.14 on Citi Business credit card—29% interest hike up because the last payment was late. ALL of my work last week as a tutor went to pay these bills. C forgot to pay the bills last month, two other ones (in addition to the Citi cards) were late. Their interest rate was hiked up to 22%. I freaked out on C about not remembering to pay the bills and then he was able to do the same thing to me today when I forgot to pick up the check on Friday that was going to get us out of this mess. We have one big account. When this restaurant is busy, they buy a lot of product and their one account pays all of our monthly minimum balances. This was a huge feat for us when it first happened. Now, it’s old hat and it’s not good enough and it is taking too long for us to dig ourselves out of this crazy business hole we got ourselves into.

(Obvious) Lesson of the Day: Pay your bills on time every time. Don't leave it to someone else to take care of ever, especially not someone who you don't completely trust to do things on time. Track all of your money and APR interest rates and keep it in mind at all times. I think it is too easy for people to just keep swiping their cards without realized that the shoes they just bought "on sale" are going to end up costing them tons more when bought with a credit card that has a balance and a high interest rate. Don't let this get out of control ever. It is very easy to get in the credit card hole and very hard to find your way out.

Finally, Citi Business is actually a great company to have a business card with. They hiked up the interest rate this particular time, but I called and explained the situation and they put it back down to 6% and refunded me money back for the fees. Plus, they were really nice and helpful on the phone.

Day#4 and 5--cars, condos, and cookies

2/3 at 12:24 AM

I did very little for the business today. I woke up at 10:50, went to my lawyers for my auto accident, and nannied (I think I made up this word...) from 1:30-9:30. ugh...

2/4/11 10:06

I dropped off my car for my 90,000 mile check up and since the “check engine” light has been coming on sporadically and more recently for the past two months, I decided I should really do something about it. They still haven't figured it out and I managed to leave there $400.00 poorer just for the check up--what the hell did they do to it?

I went to lunch at CS (should have been a "business lunch" and should have been billed to our "business account," but since that account has only enough money in it to pay our manufacturers for our next order, I paid for this very expensive lunch at this very ritzy beach-overlooking restaurant myself). This is our second account that our friends who work there were able to get us. I try to go to each of our accounts (I mean our 2 accounts) weekly so I can check out how things are going. Really, I just want to make nice with them so they feel bad about dropping us and never do so.

Then, I came home and talked to my long distance boyfriend about a condo for sale that is only $129.000 which is the lowest price I have ever seen for any piece of property in this West Coast town I live in and then I got a headache. I made a salad and a TJ pizza out of the box, watched a lot of t.v. on the couch and then I moved into my room to do the same.

My head really hurt and I realized that migraines are the only thing that force me to sit down and catch up on my t.v. shows.

I wish I had more money coming in so I could actually consider buying this super cheap, awesome condo—I am so sick of being broke and not knowing when this business will pick up… ugh.

Going back to watching Grey’s and stuffing my face with cookies...

Day 3 as a Business Owner– Debt, credit cards, and credit scores

Day #3 (2/3 at 12:24 AM):

I am actually tired tonight. I haven’t been tired till like 3 AM the last few nights. I think I am letting my brain relax a bit today. I was actually able to sit and watch 20 minutes of Ellen, 5 minutes of Oprah, and like 15 minutes of American Idol tonight without doing anything else! That is a big step for me…

Anyway, today, I had to get my credit score info. so we can see if there is any chance in hell that any bank or credit card will loan us money. I have been putting this moment off for a few months. I used to have a great credit score until I started a business, took out a loan we couldn’t afford, charged cards we should have never charged, and then only got paid 25,000.00 income for the whole year. I used to be able to pay my credit cards off every month, but those days have been gone for awhile. Anyway, after paying 15.99 for a monthly credit report and all of the bells and whistles through Wells Fargo, I found out that between the 3 agencies, I have a 704 as my highest and 683 as the lowest. I have ONE discrepancy and it has to do with my bank loan and I don’t even think it’s all my fault. Yes, it’s the bank’s fault. I have decided.

Lesson from today: Don’t be afraid to check your credit score. Most people at some point have had a low score and there are many resources–books and websites to teach you how to increase your score. There is a lot of support out there and it is better to just find out what you are up against and deal with it. Don’t live in the dark regarding money or you will never find your way out to the light. I also realized today that it is worth it to spend $12.99 a month through a reputable agency and track your spending and credit score. You can stay on top of your financial situation, and you deserve that. Uh oh…I sound like an ad right now. It’s true though. That is advice I wish I would have heard earlier and I wish my parents would have showed me how to check my credit score and keep checking it at a much younger age. I would have been more aware and made wiser choices.