You Deserve One of These--Orgasm 101

(This post is dedicated to my fearless little sister who was never afraid to ask questions and to all women who want to learn how to achieve an orgasm) 

Part 1: If you haven’t had an orgasm yet, read below. While there are many articles, books, and graphic pictures on how to do this, I am taking the time to simply express my own personal experience. Hopefully, this will help. If not, keep trying or comment and tell me what else you would like to know!

What lead up to the big O--

I was 18 and a freshman in college. I lived with my best friend in a small room that was right across the hall from the only other girl on the floor who ended up being normal, by our standards, fun, and a total sex fiend. She was 18 just like us, but she was very in touch with her sexual needs and wants. She was leagues ahead of me and my roommate. She had been watching porn, using vibrators, having sex with various partners who were not necessarily her boyfriends, and openly talking about it far longer than we had been. She was the poster child for women who want to be sexually free and sexually experienced. She was Samantha before Samantha even existed.

I loved to talk about sex too (who doesn’t at that age) and my amatuer escapades (especially compared to Krissy). I was always of the mindset that sex was a great topic in which to use to open people up, make them laugh, and figure out whether a person was going to be friends with me or be offended by me.

Krissy was the same way. One day in the middle of September while it was still at least 85 degrees out and close to 90 in our rooms that had no air conditioners, we were discussing various sexual positions and I asked her about having an orgasm. I was a virgin to orgasms and she was horrified to find out this factoid about myself. “At age 18, you still haven’t had an orgasm? Have you ever touched yourself, played with yourself, watched porn?” “Didn’t you have boyfriends? You never figured it out with them?”  She asked me question after question hurriedly and with a flabbergasted expression on her face. Her concerned response expressed to me that this was something I was really going to have to get on top of. Put it on my list of things to accomplish. She gave me the best advice I think anyone has ever given me on how to accomplish the first orgasm of your life: Find a shower with a removable shower head and use it.  

Why it took so long--

Now, let me explain why it took so long for me to get to this point and why my lovely boyfriends thus far had not accomplished the task either. First, I was on an anti-depressant called Paxil.  (The story about that will have to wait for another day, it is definitely not as interesting as this one). Paxil is just about the worst drug you can be on when it comes to sex drive and your libido. When I requested to get off Paxil, my doctor informed me that the reason I never wanted to have sex was because Paxil kills your libido. It is so successful at doing this, that they use this drug in prison to control sex offenders. So, since I didn’t really care about having sex, I didn’t really care about having an orgasm and therefore, I never practiced on myself. I didn’t masturbate for the first time until I was 18. I remember playing around once, but I only fingered myself and realized that it wasn’t going to do the trick and gave up on it. I wasn’t really worried about it until Krista’s reaction.

And, the reason my boyfriends were never able to master the task was because I never knew what to tell them. I didn’t know my own body so how were they suppose to figure it out? The moral of that story is that you must know your own body before you can actually expect someone else to be able to pleasure you. Men are not mind readers, we all know that, so you have to help them along.

Read on to part 2. Please COMMENT and let me know what you think!